Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who never asked you a single question? You say something, and they use your comment to continue on with their own thoughts. No follow-up. No curiosity.

When I’m in those situations I sometimes feel like I’m not even talking. How do you feel when that happens?

I joke that most leaders’ Fitbits should track how many answers they give in a day — and how few questions. If that were true, most leaders would max out their daily quota before the first coffee break.

Not asking questions is the expensive part of leadership we don’t talk about. Charles Duhigg calls the people who flip that ratio Supercommunicators in his new book of the same name. Their secret isn’t charisma or confidence — it’s curiosity.

They ask 10x more questions than the rest of us. Those questions are what build trust, spark new ideas, and lead to sharper decisions.

The Question Gap is what most leaders miss. We think our value comes from having all the answers. But that’s not true.
The leaders who build trust, strengthen their teams, and inspire new thinking? They’ve trained themselves to ask more questions — and smarter ones.

Take Courtney, a VP I coached who prided herself on being the “fixer.” She was smart, fast, and always had an answer ready. Her team admired her drive and counted on her for everything. As she told me one afternoon, half-joking and half-exhausted: “If I don’t solve their problems, who will?”

When we worked on strengthening her Questioning IQ, she began responding to her team’s requests with one simple question: “What options do you see?”

The result? Courtney’s direct reports stopped waiting for her to fix things and started solving problems on their own. Her workload shrank. Their confidence grew, and they became a stronger team.

One question changed their entire dynamic.

Here’s my challenge to you this week:
In your next meeting, ask one more question than you usually do. It might feel awkward — do it anyway.

That single question could:

• Save you from a decision that would have cost you later.
• Spark an idea no one has voiced yet.
• Give your team the confidence to solve problems without you.

Because the truth is, one good question can open a door that ten quick answers never could.

If you’d like to go deeper, my guide The Art of Asking Smarter Questions shares the four practices I teach clients to boost their Questioning IQ. You can get it here.
And if you’re curious about the research, I highly recommend Charles Duhigg’s Supercommunicators.